more failures, now with 100% fail!

6- High Jump
This was a must do in my elementary school. Every year they would do a school wide track and field day. Meaning all the pasty faced, acne prone kids would cover themselves in sun block and a baseball hat and stand in a field all day. So much better than learning things like English or History. Good choice, school board.
Anyhow, there was always the high jump. Which is basically jumping over a horizontal bar and landing on an oversized matt.
You know. If you can actually make it over the bar. Most of the time I went face first into the thing. By the end of my stint there, I had resorted to just standing at the back of the line as much as possible, or just walking up to the bar and pushing it over. Saved me alot of hastle.
7- Speak Frech
As much as I try to understand basic classroom french skills, years in the system has shown me one thing. English will probably be the only thing I will ever speak. All the poor french teachers forced to try and teach me a language I will never understand. If only they had known how futile the whole thing was.
8- Deal with how fucking stupid Twilight is.
People will never be able to convince me that Twilight is anything other than self indulgent trash fiction written by a woman with vampire inspired wet dreams. So dont even try.
9- Stop quoting Family Guy or South Park.
Whether its telling someone how manbearpig is half man, half bear, and half pig, or how Trisha Takanawa is "gunna-tell-us-all-about-the-rain", it seems I cannot stop quoting these shows, along with the Simpsons, in every day life. And you know, applying these lessons to my life. Because nothing says "valid life lessons" like Cartman saying "my mom says theres alot of black people in Africa"

Im super serial, you guys.
10- Swim very well. I very much fail at this.
While my friend Hugh and Scarlett are regular fishes when it comes to being in the lake, I am more of a dog. Or, nope. Cat. I can swim, dont get me wrong. But most of the time I revert to a doggie paddle or just thrashing around like a kitty. And while they can swim out into the lake for as far as they really feel like, me getting just out beyond where I can touch the ground is a pretty sad sight.
"Gah, you guys...srrsly...not a good swimmeh, egh"