5 things i should be able to do. But really just Cant.

1: Whistle.
Whenever I am walking home alone at night and feel like I am about to be raped and killed, I feel as if I should whistle. Both to have something nice to do before my upcoming slaughter and to fill the need to be as cleche' as I can be before the end.
But alas, dear reader, I am one of those people who are unable to produce any sort of whistling sound from my general body. Especially my mouth. Not only am I completley talentless musically, I cant even be the guy whistling in the back of the stage or on recording. Intense finger snapping almost makes up for it, but not quite.
SIDEBAR!
At one point in my life being able to do a vulcan hand salute thingy from star trek was on my list. Not any more. My fingers can separate all over the place, in even more dorky displays of nerd- icity.
2- Writing with both hands. I think this is a genetic thing. But really, I just think its talent. Ambidextrous, is the term. And I just think its badass. Possible awesomeness? Say you lose your arm in a freak aligator wrestling accident? Well, no problem, my friend. Your other hand is ready to pick up the slack.A friend of mine named Marion is both- handed, and so is comedian Demitri Martin. And that dude is funny shit.


Both handedness does not make up for wierd ass hairness

3- Make my own clothes
This is badass, let me just say. It may seem like this is something only hippy commune flower child or morman/ amish/ cult people do, but it always seemed way cool.
Alas, even lego bricks do not want to work for me. Making my own clothes would not work out. Unless I wanted to look like a carnival clown who did meth and decided a sewing machine was the place to be at the time.

4- Knitting
This goes along the same line as making my own clothes, but in a more old womany kind of way. Knitting sweaters and blankets and shit is cool. Think about it. Hey, I want a sweater with blue and red zig zags and a yellow guitar with lightning bolts coming out of it on the front. BOOM. One knitting montage set to cheesey eighties music later, and you have the best sweater ever made.

5- Sing
You can either sing, or you cant. Most people who can do it well are just born with it. And most of bands on the music scene right now dont even have that.
For those who have heard me try and do any kind of musical number can tell you I have one tone. Well, a lack of tone. But, you know. One thing i can do with my voice. And its not pretty. Considering how I plan to go into theatre for a living, I should probably do something about my lack of musical talent. This summer I will be joining the cast of a new musical...
This is going to be interesting.

also, kick-punching. Punches with the power of kicks. One day.